Everyday Sexism

It looks like I find things to rant about everywhere I look. Maybe it's just me...or maybe society's just doing things wrong, constantly. Get your act together people. So many rants in my head I can't even manage to sort them out and get them down on my blog.

Ok so firstly I note, tomorrow is a big day. Its the primary elections for MDP to determine who gets party tickets to contest in the upcoming parliament elections. This is personally important to me because my husband is also contesting and putting up a tough fight in a tough constituency. He's been working for nearly four years with the constituents so I truly feel he deserves this...and I would say this even if he's not my husband and I'm completely smitten and biased. The thing that bugged me about it was however someone commenting that she was so pleased I was also not contesting like some married couples seem to be doing these days. She felt it ridiculous that both the husband and wife would compete in elections...well for different constituencies of course. I think a marriage lasting through a couple contesting for the same seat will be nothing short of a miracle!

Anyways, I found this strange though. When I met my husband we were both political appointees. Both working for the same President, in the same office. We became husband and wife 3 years later. Just because my husband was contesting in an election did it mean I am not entitled to have the same political ambitions? Because I married someone who is interested in a political career I cannot? Even though I myself was equally involved with the party and its political activities? Not that I am interested but hypothetically speaking is it fair? I think if I had any such inclinations people will have no right to criticize me chasing any political goals that I might have just because my husband seemed to have the same ones. And why is it always the woman who is seen as making the odd choice where ambitions are involved, whereas men are just given a free pass?

That brings me to another rant. So couple of days ago I was added to this viber group of constituents campaigning and anticampaigning for and against primary candidates. The only thing I said was I felt it better not to attack each other and engage in blame games for losing the City Council seat in the recent elections but in stead focus on the upcoming elections. After all we'd all have to back the candidate who won the primary to ensure we got the parliament seat so I felt such damaging words between the campaign camps was just unnecessary and destructive. However the mudslinging went on and I refrained from saying anything further. There seemed to be no point. However I could not hold back my indignation when the subject of the two female candidates was broached. One wondered if one of them was single. Another commented on the poster of the other female candidate and said she was pretty when she didn't open her mouth. Perhaps it was all in good fun. But we often let these things slide as just 'harmless fun', so much so that people don't realize they're actually being sexist and discriminatory and that their actions are wrong. Nobody questioned about the relationship status of the male candidates, no one cared how they looked in their posters, no one cared if they had kids. Its unfair that women have to be judged on so many other levels, on entirely useless things that have nothing to do with their capabilities or eligibility for whatever post they are contesting.

I also detested that the two ladies, Ms Mariya and Ms Velezinee contesting for Machangoalhi Uthutu constituent were often referred to as being in a 'catfight'. The fact that they're women shouldn't matter. What should matter is the fact that they're well known people putting a strong fight to win the ticket. It should not matter if they're male or female - but sadly it does. So what they wear becomes an issue. How they walk, talk, dress, laugh, do their hair - these are all issues. Issues that contesting men don't face. We seem to be progressing so fast yet on these matters we are still in medieval times.

Everyday I come across instances that baffle me. Everyday I find something or other that make me question, why is it that society sees me as a lesser being? Why is it that a woman who speaks her mind is labeled obnoxious or bossy or difficult or showing attitude, when a man doing the same is just being confident or displaying leadership? Why is it that when a woman is ambitious and is committed to achieving her goals she is labeled selfish or manly or aggressive? The day a woman gets married she does not bury her thoughts, she does not set fire to her brain, she does not dump her dreams in the bin. She does not say, that's it. I'm now a wife, and beyond that I have no life until I become a mother, and then motherhood shall consume me. That's what I shall live for. I don't think any woman thinks that on her own - society forces her to though. Society tells her that she comes second to all the other people in her life and all of the things she wants to do are for any 'leftover time' after she does everything for everyone else. Women should take a stand but they can't do this alone. Men need to take pride in their smart, empowered, capable, brilliant wives and not be threatened. Let her shine, your lives will be so much brighter!